Men have their radar up for gold diggers whom they think are looking to marry a lifestyle along with their man.
David, age 37 from Long Island, NY, described his recent date this way: “She was looking for a ‘Perfect 10:’ the guy who’s a 5 on the looks scale with million in the bank.” As a dating coach and matchmaker, I’ve spent the past ten years conducting some unconventional dating research using an “exit interview” tactic I learned at Harvard Business School and applied to the dating world.I interviewed 1,000 men to find out what really happened after a dating disconnect.“My girlfriend said, ‘Why don’t you buy drinks for everyone? w=1024&h=678&crop=1&quality=90&strip=all 1024w" sizes="(max-width: 680px) 100vw, 680px" /LEFT: Kimberly Rich, 33. What she has to offer: “I think I’m a loving and generous person, have a great career and an independent life.” GOLDIGGER? So, how do you distinguish a well-intentioned woman from the ones who just really, really like talking about your wallet? After all, many well-intentioned women want to align themselves with successful, powerful men, too.’” Over the course of a year of dating, there were extravagant trips to Europe and, for her birthday, he splurged on a Cartier watch. Not only should the woman have a job, says Spindel, but a sizable income — six figures is expected. For Robin Kassner, a 30-something CEO of her own firm, Haute PR, her future husband’s wallet, like his heart, can never be too big.It's not just women who are successful in business. According to dating and relationship coach Nicole Johnson, "A man is dating you for your pecuniary prestige if he consistently proposes you go shopping together, makes continual references about traveling with you or constantly suggests going out to expensive venues."It's easy to go from talking about future romantic trips to suddenly paying for vacations.
Recent widows and divorcees can become providers as well."Perhaps [the potential sugar mama's] spouse has died and she was left a significant amount of money. Diana Kirschner takes it in the opposite direction by stressing that he'll be a total gentleman when you first meet. She mentions that "If the person is a true gold digger, it can be hard to tell in the beginning because he's often are putting on a full-court press in order to win you."Spira backs this up by saying that these charming men will pull out all of the stops just so you'll fall for them. She confirms that "Often they will pretend to have their own money, but in reality, they are borrowing from Visa to pay Mastercard [so they can] finance the relationship until you're hooked."Eventually he'll stop paying for things and assume that you'll provide and pay for things most or all of the time.3. Does he only like to go to the fanciest restaurants? That's why Julie Spira advises "If you're concerned someone is dating you for your money, leave your wallet and purse behind." Don't let yourself fall into the trap of buying or accepting extravagant gifts.4.
Then you can get the heck out of the relationship, and avoid all the negative things these people invariably bring into your life.
You are already in a relationship and you've realized your partner is a gold digger! Here are some ways: Men often treat a gold digger as a possession - a commodity.
The more trusting of people you are, the more difficult it will be for you to realize you are in a relationship with a gold digger.
The smart thing is to educate yourself to recognize signs and indicators early on in your relationship that you might be involved with a gold digger.
Many men described women whom they stereotyped as overly interested in money or overly focused on acquiring or maintaining a lavish lifestyle.