In the following days I’m going to give you some of their stories of dating after 40 and relationships.(Guys, if you’re reading this…get in touch if you want to share!
People ask me all the time whether I offer dating and relationship coaching for single men. But I tell them that I help men by helping women who are dating after 40. ) One of the most transformational ways I support women is by helping you better understand GROWNUP men.Just like women, the men you’re dating have lived and learned.So the only way you really can empathize is to know their side of the story.Men and women are different in many ways, but we’re more the same than you may think. We all have dating disappointments and horror stories.Just like how you’ve dated your share of challenging types of men like the Pinger, the Couch Potato and the older-and-balder-than-his-profile-guy…men also meet and enter into relationships with less-than-impressive types of women.
I’ve talked to countless single men over the years about their experiences with women, especially those in their 40s, 50s and beyond.Twenty years ago this month a young man’s trajectory to stardom was cut tragically short. and I’m wiped out after a long waitressing shift for the Ahmanson Theater crowd in downtown L. I’m about to turn out the light over the clock radio when my phone rings. His voice is weighted by sadness, urgent with some indecipherable fear. ” “I’ll be right there.” Banging the phone down, I yank on my sweats and grab the glasses I wear when I’m not wearing contact lenses. ” “My dad’s funeral.” On screen is newsreel footage on a VHS tape of his father’s ceremonial funeral in Hong Kong sixteen years earlier. I’m not interested in Bill, who looks a lot like me, blonde, blue-eyed, familiar. To me he’s exotic, fine-boned, hazel-eyed, with dark brows and hair. As the night winds down I’ve given up my Brandon quest. ” He seems to consider the idea for the first time, teasing me a bit.Legendary martial artist and actor Bruce Lee’s charismatic son, Brandon Lee, was carving a name of his own in film when he died tragically on the set of the gothic, comic film is Here. I figure it’s my old college roommate calling after anchoring the eleven o’clock news at KSBW Monterey. I jump in my shoe-skate Honda and pull out of my garage in sixty seconds flat. When I arrive I find Brandon in his bedroom huddled under his heavy duvet. I climb into bed next to him, put my arms around him. In the grainy footage Bruce Lee’s corpse rests in an open casket displayed to all in a throng-filled square that’s a paparazzi/media circus. Brandon’s mom, Linda, wearing short brown hair, maintains a stoic expression behind dark sunglasses until she’s led to the casket and sees her husband. I sit at a table despondently finishing my beer when I feel two hands placed on either of my shoulders. “I guess I am.” “Good,” I say with a confidence I wish I had when it came to auditions. On the day Brandon dies I work the lunch shift at a Santa Monica restaurant called Ocean Avenue Seafood. But when I get home around three o’clock there are twenty-three messages on my answering machine.For example, "I'm going to have dinner with a man/woman that I met at work.We're going to talk for a few hours after dinner and then I'll be home. Chances are good that he or she already has a good idea of what dating is all about! For example, "I'm going out on a date with (person's name) on Friday.They’re a little jaded, whether they like it or not. You have to be good enough to heal the wounds of a divorcée.